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Thursday, September 9, 2010

S-E-X

WARNING: This post is about S-E-X.  I do not want anyone to feel offended by anything mentioned in this post.  

I have to say out of all my years of being a mom, THIS topic was one of the most uncomfortable topics I ever had to explain to my daughter.

My mom never sat me down and explained the basics.  I don't even think she explained what periods were.  She let the school do that and then I figured the rest out from my friends.

Looking back,  I wonder if she did get through the embarrassment of talking sex with me, would I have viewed things differently?  Maybe...maybe not.  I may have felt more comfortable talking with her about things, but it was clearly communicated that that was a taboo subject in my home.

I decided that I did not want that for my daughter.  I wanted to be open and honest with her while making her feel like she could come to me with questions.

So what did I do?

She was 9 years old and I was pregnant  I took that opportunity to explain the basics.  And when I mean basic, I mean BASIC! I did not go into details of emotions, foreplay, orgasms or anything.  This is how I explained it:


ME: Since you are going into public school, I wanted to talk to you about something before you hear about it from your friends.


DD: O....kaaaaaaaaaay {with great uncertainty}.


ME:  Just to let you know, this is a very difficult thing to talk about because my mom never talked about it with me.  So I am a little uncomfortable, but I feel it's important that you hear the information from me.  You know how we talked awhile ago about periods and how God created girls? Well, I wanted to tell you how this baby was made {I was 7 mos pregnant during this conversation}. You know that boys have a penis, right?


DD: Yes. 


ME:  When a husband and wife are married, God gives them a wonderful gift called sex.  You have heard that word, right?


DD: Yes.


ME: The husband will put his penis in her vagina and then something called sperm comes out.  Sometimes the wife will have an egg and if the two meet, a baby is made. {Then I wait}


DD: {Silence}


ME: Do you have any questions about what I just told you?


DD: Sounds kinda gross.

ME:  It does sound gross.  But when you are married it is a great gift that God blesses a husband and wife. {Wait}

That is basically it.  I explain the very basic facts and then wait to answer questions.  Children do not need to hear about all the other things that go into a couple having sex.  I have emphasized with my daughter that we believe it's best to wait until marriage and that she can come to me at any time if she has any questions.

I also explain that because the topic is uncomfortable for me that she might have to give me a minute to collect my thoughts before answering her questions.  It was also important to tell her that she will hear her friends discuss it, but because they {I hope} do not have any experience in that area, they do not know what they are talking about.  I will know the truth so she should come to me whenever she hears something that is new.

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